On my daughter’s first day of preschool last fall, she was understandably nervous — we all were. As we walked up the sidewalk, another little girl ran up to her and said, “It’s my first day of school, too. Do you want to hold hands and walk in together?” At that my heart burst, and the tears I’d been holding back filled my eyes. They walked into the building together, and I knew they were going to be just fine. 

For kids, everything they do is new and difficult. Take for example: sleeping through the night, learning to swallow solid food, walking, zipping up a winter coat, or blowing their own nose (if you spend any time with toddlers, YOU KNOW). 

They know how to try, fail, and try again. They express their emotions when they feel disappointed, frustrated, even outraged. And they know how to lend a hand — sometimes literally — to a friend or even a stranger who is scared. 

We, as grown-ups, could do a better job of following their example. 

Recently I’ve had to do a few hard new things. Things like confronting people I love with difficult conversations and rebuilding my concept of spiritual community. Just in becoming a mother, I have created a whole new identity for myself, now and for the rest of my life. In these challenges, I have encountered many emotions: loneliness and confusion, but also growth and happiness. 

I have always struggled to express my emotions as I feel them. It’s hard for me to reach out for a hand to hold when things get scary or don’t go the way I’d planned.

So today, on the last day of school, I look back at that sweet moment on the sidewalk that first day. My daughter has learned so much this past year and grown academically, socially, and emotionally. She can say a few sentences in Chinese, has two best friends, and knows lots of new jokes and songs.

But what I hope she remembers most is the way she felt when that new friend extended a hand to her and they faced something scary together. I hope she takes that with her into the start of next school year, and other fresh starts for the rest of her life.

It’s a good reminder for all of us. Be the one to offer a hand when you can — or take a hand when you need it.